Pretty Monster - Take the ride - Purchase now!

Click the image above to get more information, and to purchase this book

1st Book Signing

I WILL POST PICTURES VERY SOON!

Thank you for your support, kind words, well wishes, & laughter at my first book signing/event this weekend.

What an experience & blessing this was for me to meet so many beautiful & positive people.

I’ve learned that:
CSU Alumni, Students, Friends and Family are good people and have overwhelmed me with joy!!!
Chicago loves CSU
Connecticut has more than 4 black people in it
Cleveland & Cincinnati roll deep when they travel
Maryland has a lot of love
& Detroit is loyal to the game
Last but not least Dayton represents!

Please keep in touch!
Love,
Raye

twin soul -soul mate

"During each of our lifetimes, individuals from your close knit family of souls, your soul mates, will more than likely be your parents, sisters, brothers, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, and even your lovers."

>>
The death of my twin soul…
>>
I didn't go home to watch my twin soul die. But that's what happened.
I remember when she told me what I already knew…
She had cancer and that she was glad that I was coming back home…
I had been in funky-ass fucked Georgia for nearly two year and rarely missed a week talking to my twin soul – Aunt Lenn…
>>
To her delight and dismay I moved 5 hours away. Not in the same city but close enough for me to burn up my shell card to go see her nearly every weekend.
I didn't even unpack before I was on the road to be in her arms to let her know that I her loved to life!
>>
I believe the true you begins after life in death – life is the hard part, although death seems to be the insurmountable reality…

>>
We live until we die auntie – every man has to do his own believing and his own dying – she repeated slowly what I had just said to her, contemplating every word…
>>
It blessed me so to see her fight, to live even when the doctors said: if you got any business to tend to don't put it off. If you live beyond 3 months it's in the hands of God and he has the final say…
>>
Live past 3 months she did – feisty, lively, bodacious and always a lady!
Chemo had knocked her on her ass and she rose from the ashes – beautiful as can be and bald!

>>
"TT if you want to wear your hair now that is has grown back – I'll cut mine too…" I said. She smiled and laughed and in the end she said no don't cut your hair for me.
>>
Wednesday August 20th, 2008 – I called to tell her "I'll be there Friday beautiful and I can't wait to see you." The voice that spoke back to me broke my soul apart and I wept silently tring not to let it be heard in my voice…
No matter how sick she was, no matter how much pain - she'd never let me off the phone because she loved me too. "What's Joy doing" she'd say knowing that talking about my big headed kids would spark at least 15 minutes of dialogue from me.
>>
Friday August 22, 2008 – I walked off my job because my spirit pulled me towards my twin soul and I had to go.
I flew home changed clothes and threw some clothes in a bag, on my way to spend the night with her, my shell card coupled in my bra.
>>
My beautiful, beautiful twin soul was dieing before my eyes and I knew it when I saw her… literally oozing cancer from her mouth and unable 2 speak or move her head, body or eyes…

>>
Every now and then her hand would jerk up as if she was asking me to hold it. Sleep as hell watching her like a protective mother her I'd say "I'm hear TT your not alone."

>>
Hours later - I lost my twin soul.

>>
Then with the smell of death and a hospital sick bed drenching me from sitting by her side all night – I went to my guy Chris (the baddest barber in North Chicago) who had flat out refused to cut my hair sitting across the room looking at me like he was about to take a break until a real customer walked in. I grabbed his scissors and whacked off my ponytail as the whole shop ohh'ed and wow'ed at my boldness in dedication of my love to my beautiful soul mate –
RIP in Peace Aunt Lenn

>>
The flesh can take your body – but only God can take your soul!

Soooooooooo Sweet!!!!!!!!

No Words Needed!!!

Bursting with JUBILATION!!!!!!!!

"Change is created by those whose imaginations are bigger than their circumstances"
Author - Unknown



Now you have heard and seen the chaos in my blogs - and the reach for peace and blocking all drama!

Well yau'll I feel like poison and toxins have been released from my soul as of lately and it feels so good that if i were any happier I'd split right into a twin!!!



God is...

and Doesn't ever fail!!!



Be encouraged and be conscience of the intention and the words we speak as they are so powerful. When we say we are going to do something, we set energy in motion. When we fail to act or complete our intention, we drain our energy. We lose our power.


We would be wise to choose our words carefully -- to really mean what we say and to honour the commitments we have made. So that we are not responsible for draining the energy of others...



as i continue to work on my own shit - i can at the very least say on a daily bases that i have a clear conscious and followed my spirit/inner voice.

last straw - this is it!

A powerfully portrayed story told with raw honesty and love...

Experience tears and laughter walking through the life and times of Tangie Waters, a resilient daddy’s girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. This attention-grabbing tale of a young woman’s determination to survive leaves one questioning their own maturity. Despite her monstrous ego, Tangie finds humility through her faith in God and the wisdom of her grandparents as she struggles to be at peace while overcoming constant setbacks, family woes, and the complexities of being a single mother.

Flowing through life with torrent music Pretty Monster is an alluring tale that speaks to young women everywhere; from the inner cities to the tree lined streets of the American suburbs

The synopsis from hell!!!!

After a 100 revisions - i am tired of this bi^%$!!!!!!!!!!

A powerful portrayed story told with raw honesty and love...

Experience tears and laughter walking through the life and times of Tangie Waters, a resilient daddy’s girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. The attention-grabbing tale of a young lady’s determination to survive that leaves one questioning their own maturity. Despite her monstrous ego, Tangie is guided by faith in God and the wisdom of her grandparents as she struggles to be at peace while faced with constant setbacks, family woes, and the complexities of being a single mother. Flowing through life with torrent music Pretty Monster is an alluring tale that speaks to young women from the inner city to the tree lined streets of the American suburbs.

Dear Mama...

Grandmothers are the real G's!!!!

a motherless child is far worse than a fatherless one...

to all the Mothers that did what they didn''t have to do!

I sat there for almost an hour and no one came in as I made peace with Mama and God. This was the end. I bent over her face and I remember thinking even now at age 73 and on her death bed, how she looked 45 at the most. She was beautiful to the end. I kissed her face and it was ice cold and rubbery feeling. Something was wrong, oxygen was being pumped into a corpse is what I think, but the machines were on anyhow. I silently prayed and said bye to what was left of Mama whispering in her ear.
“Thank you for loving me so much I promise I’ll try to be good.” “I always knew you were watching and praying for me. Tell God, I know when the Holy Spirit is teaching me and I saw three angels for sure.”
I promptly stood, still glaring at her lifeless, empty eyes turned and walked out into the waiting room. The family was in there loud, talking and laughing like the Bears had won the Super Bowl or something. I stood at the entrance of the doorway?
“Would somebody please take me home?”
They started their manipulation tactics saying why you leaving , don’t go, we all here together for a change and what about Mama.
“I want to go home.”
They kept talking and I was about ready to spark off .
I yelled real loud “I want to go home, would somebody please give me a ride home!”
The way I said it translated into fuck all of you motherfuckers quick and dirty, now take me home. Everybody got silent and just stared at me.
I then said under my breath “Fuck it, I'll catch a cab,” and walked out.
I heard my father speaking as the door was closing.
“Do you mind taking her home?”

Pretty Monster coming June 2008!

Pretty Monster Coming June 2008

Experience tears and laughter walking through the life and times of Tangie Waters, a resilient daddy’s girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. An attention-grabbing tale of a young black woman’s determination to survive, guided by faith in God, and the wisdom of her grandparents. Despite her monstrous ego she struggles to be at peace, while faced with constant setbacks, family woes, and the complexity of being a single mother. Flowing through life with torrent music Pretty Monster is an alluring tale that speaks to young women from the inner city to the tree lined streets of the American suburbs.

MAn up or Bow down!

smile - do i really have go into detail on this one?

... HE said that I was the best girlfriend that he had ever had and that he couldn't handle what that meant... Just like that -fuck me, fuck the kids, fuck everything he's gone...

PrEtTy Monster coming June 2008

Rejection is as strong as love

... and both will get you killed!!!

It's New Year's morning, I had been in church, praising the New Year in up until one a.m. I had slept on the couch for a change and actually got some good sleep. I woke to the phone ringing. When I answered, I heard the words, "Tangie will you marry me?"
It took me a second to catch the voice. I thought to myself damn he's tripping.
"Well, good morning to you too str!..."
But before I could say anything else he went on to say.
"I can't get you out of my mind and my heart even though we haven't seen each other for a long time. I spent the night partying with my friends and I found my every other thought to be about you and wishing we could be together, so I called to ask if you would start the New Year off being mine. Will you marry me?
"I'm pregnant," I said, trying to move the conversation to a new topic.
After a long pause, he responded "But you didn't answer the question."

PrEtTy MoNsTeR - coming June 2008

flip da script - follow up to the previous post

Have you ever been in the situation where a relative (in-law by marriage either common law or just a significant other to your relative) or a friend (close or good aquaintance) tried to step to you for some romance/fu*&^%$...

I have had this happen so many times and it really made mad as hell. Then my later thought was ok getting pass the obvious that he is attracted to me - is there something about me that makes him think that i would be down with being a side peice of ass - and worse a side peice of ass to one of my friends or family members.

my evil twin/monsterous ego has no PROBLEM with taking over in these situation ans i was hell to dem niggas - read on for the rhythm and fire, bitch nigga role call!

my list - please note that every response was from a different person...

spoken like the true undercover thug I is!!!

--- called him every mutherf*&^%$ combination in da book

--- slapped the shit out of him

--- spit on him

--- walked away with my mouth hanging wide open

--- went and sat in my fiances lap

--- told the guy i was dating (because he noticed my mood had changed i.e., he asked)

--- cussed his ass out

--- didn't respond and stopped going to hang with my girl until she dumped his ass

--- told somebody who told everybody!!!

--- threaten to kill his ass

what did you do you (or would you do) when your friend or relative significant other tried to get with you...

If you went jerry springer of maury - no judgement here

what happens onthe blog stays on the blog (yea right - lol)

Damn why and how do you know so damn much about it?!

Mind Yo’Buisness!

He cheatin, she cheatin they break up and it goes around and around again. They get back together. She tell and he tells his friends if you see anything, let me know.
Whats the deal with so many broken relationship and people cheating left and right???
This is no new thing.. The game don’t change just the players – what is this all about. I have never understood!

Now if you happen to watch show like “Maury” or as I like to call it “Who’s That Babies Daddy?”

You’ll stay perplexed on the issue.

I just don’t get it… Help me understand?

Is it a sex thing?
Is it I want out of the relationship thang?
Is it I just can’t myself thang?
Or do you secretly CRAVE DRAMA and the possibility of a STD???


My personal take on it – comes from my Mama, God bless her soul who warned me to mind my own business. Strange things happen between a man and a woman and its best to keep it to your self. The person you tell will FIND a WAY to resent you eventually some way and some how!!!
How crazy and I have seen it to be true – time and time again

Bottom line question?!

Would you really want somebody to tell you what you already know by fact or by instinct?

Heres a survey for you family:

Would you tell if you saw a female relative’s beau with another woman?

Would you tell if you saw a good friend’s beau with another woman/man?

Would you tell if you saw your dad or uncle with another woman?

Must See Movies!!!!

Some folks believe what you don’t know won’t hurt you. But when it comes to creeping and living a secret life, director/actor Bill Duke challenges such wayward thinking. His controversial thriller, Cover, examines the “down-low” or “D.L” phenomenon and how it affects the Black community through the lives of one young Black family. When southern belle and commercial photographer Valerie Maas (Aunjanue Ellis) agrees to uproot her family and lucrative career by relocating from Atlanta to Philly to support her psychiatrist-hubby Dutch’s (Rad Adoti) new promotion, things fall apart as her growing suspicion of Dutch’s infidelity comes to light. However, it’s the magnitude of those lies and deceit that challenge the sanctity of her marriage, faith and hope, making her doubt everything she’s ever known to be true—including her husband’s devotion.









Robert Townsend Gives Back to Chicago In Film
Latest Film Brings Chicago Native Back Home To Show Kids Possibilities





A family patriarch is bereaved of his wife on a tragic car accident. As he tries to pull his family together with the help of his sister, a hustler tempts his son and three other neighborhood boys into a shady lifestyle. The boys must learn to grow into manhood by choosing the right paths in their lives.

What are you thinking?

What have you been thinking lately?

Do you know? We get so accustomed to our thoughts that we lose awareness of them. We don’t see how they are stuck in old habitual patterns, most of which don’t serve us.

Take time to journal so you can capture your thoughts on paper. By doing so, you will begin to take control of your mind and use it to best advantage.

Black History Month!

I finally got around to posting for BHM!
I have been busieer than the devil these days - translation we eat'in groceries PRAISE GOD!!!

A PLEA TO THE TALENTED TENTH

Harvard University recently concluded a five-year study that found that race is deeply embedded in our cultural landscape and most Americans are in a state of denial. The 50 researchers concluded, "Race continues to play a powerful role in the chances for success in America and black Americans continue to lose jobs to recent immigrants." Andrew Hacker, a white college professor says, "The fact that slavery existed for so long and was so taken for granted cannot be erased from American minds." And says Hacker, "that is why white people, although they won't openly admit it, find it not improper that blacks still serve as maids and janitors, occupations seen as involving physical skills rather than mental aptitudes."Psychologist

Na'im Akbar says black Americans are also in a state of denial about the lingering effects of slavery on our thinking. Akbar and Hacker agree that the American psyche remains traumatized by slavery and is in need of mental healing (psychotherapy). And Dr. Akbar says in psychotherapy, "a confrontation of the original trauma and a restructuring of the mind's faulty adaptations to the assault can serve to correct these disturbed patterns of responding." Under this view, if we are to eliminate the "ghost of the plantation" from our cultural landscape, there must be honest and continuous dialogue within as well as between the races.

What about the "Talented Tenth"? W.E.B. Dubois envisioned that the 10% of Black Americans who acquired the skills and/or education that enabled us to succeed in the larger society would eventually "come home" and use our tools and talents to build a bridge between the Black "haves" and the Black "have-nots." Unfortunately many of the "talented tenth" (and I speak from personal experience) used our tools and talents to build personal bridges between the so-called races and then used these bridges as private access roads from the ghetto to the suburbs. In the process, of course, we left our less fortunate sisters and brothers behind.

Hebrew scholar Ben Ammi, writes in his book, God the Black Man and Truth, "Education today is based upon class, aimed at attaining power and fulfilling materialistic desires rather than providing a service to our fellow man." I remember how my college classmates and I laughed at the African brothers who said they were going to get an education and then go back home to help their people. In retrospect I now know, an immigrant wants to help his people while a slave wants to help himself. Many of us are now confessing we made a bad deal. We voluntarily sacrificed our spiritual health for the pursuit of material wealth. We now remember that when we had less, we shared more. And we also remember when a "good home" meant something more than a "well-built house" in the suburbs.As we enter the 21st century, we must accept the responsibility for our own destiny as a people. Perhaps racial profiling and the attacks on affirmative action are blessings in disguise.

As Professor Hacker so diplomatically reminds us, "America is inherently a 'white' country: in character, in structure, in culture." And in America's version of apartheid writes Hacker, "white Americans show little inclination toward giving full nationality to the descendants of African slaves." We must therefore struggle to understand the words of the late scholar/researcher Chancellor Williams when he said, "Now it is just here within the race where integration is not only needed but it is mandatory."And most of all, we must rededicate ourselves to God. In her appropriately named book, Volunteer Slavery, Sister Jill Nelson uses the term "spiritual materialism" to describe our misguided, dollar driven approach to God. "Spiritual materialism" has infiltrated all religions, however, since we are predominantly a Christian people, I'll define it as talking about Jesus when we really want to live like Caesar. Can the true spirit of Christ dwell in such an atmosphere? We're sending mixed messages to our children and then wondering why they are in such a state of confusion.

One sure way of praising and honoring our Creator is by using our unique qualities and abilities to better the human condition. GOD IS, LET'S GET BUSY!!

By Langston X. Thomas (Baba Adubiifa)

Victim or Victorious?

The say adversity and challenges happen to make you stronger...
I have had so much thrown at me that it makes me want to hollar!!!
Hey if challenges build charater I am on my way to being a cartoon sketch...
But, I know my position! Never a victim always a winner!
So I am sending this words to you in case you are human and keep getting bullshit thrown into your winners circle...

Stay encouraged family!


"A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he says someone pushed him."
-- Elmer G. Letterman

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."
-- Steven Biko

Invisible roses smell sweet too!

Happy valentines day to me - and many more - roflmao!!!!!!!!!

Being single don't bother me -

I have peace - although I may need to be greased!

But i can wait for the perfect moment in time where he is ALL mine...

I's a selfish lovin-woman and sharing will get cho' azz cut!

anyhoo - Happy valentines day mr. turner - where ever you are - lol

(Don't let these jokes get u trippin! - smile)

THINK BEFORE YOU LOVE!

Tuesday Tenets - To your ownself be true!!!!

My earnest prayer for years was that i be blessd with tears of joy. I had seen people on TV do it and I of course had been happy as all get out before and leaped with jubilation. But I had never been so happy that i literally wept - and i felt like that was an emotion that i deserved to experience.

I am pleased to say that I was blessed with many opportuites to do so - and if i sat my ass down long enough to count my blessing everyday - i am sure i do it more often.... well daily!

Now what blew my mind was an empowerment email I saw that spoke about the body being a temple and flowing like the ocean when you seek to put yourself in harmony or at least understanding who you are and how much power you harness...

then came the question - have you ever noticed the taste of your tears?

now i know exactly what sad tears taste like - with and without snot!!!!!!!

my next quest is to notice the taste of happy tears!

Questions:

Have you ever noticed that tears of sorrow taste different than tears of joy?

Negro Issues!!!!

As you may or MAY NOT know - I have been blessed with a book deal working with the lovely Diane of Firefly Publishing & Entertainement.

I am a real stickler when it comes to buiness and i have a real low threashold for unprofessional, late, last minute, poorly communicated negro buisness...

Like Chris Rock Said everythig whites hate about niggas - blacks hate about niggas too.........

Now I have a so called creative team!!!! (please note this team has no relationship or buisness dealing with Ms. Diane)


I threw my RFP out there for them to bring me back a tight cover for the book. I gave them clear guidleines about what I wanted for example:

Abstract:
Pretty Monster is the turbulent story of Tangy Raye Waters a resilience young girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and her struggle to be at peace despite the trouble of family woes and her monstrous ego. Many life lessons learned from her grandparents and time led to her faith in God and the music never stopped.

Now with that said - not trying to give the entire package up just yet -

this is what he sent me!





Is this an Emu?






















Is this a vampire?















I am offended, that he would suggest something so tacky and unclassy for the cover of my book!
I told him he has today and today only to impress me - or i'll have my 9 years do it and i am sure it will be fabulous!!!!!

I have know dude since 94 and i think the real issue is not being heard!!!! I started this project in 2006 and if you don't know what its about now - you shouldn't be on the team.

he was all affected inthe begining when I told him I would not do work with him without a contract - now this is WHY!!!!!
Negros!!!!!!!!!!

When my publisher gives the green light i will share some excerts of pretty monster...

Wild Card Wednesdays

Black Don't Crack...

I had a whole nuther blog planned for to day but the most fabulous things happened again...I am single and over 30 and I get younger guys hollering at the vet often. I have gotten use it and find it to be funny.But the older I get and shifting professional circles I get comments like:
"This is your son? or your brother?"
"You said your son is 18. Do you mean months?"
"I can tell your older by your conversation, what are you like 30?" (not sure if this was a complement or an insult!)

In the last couple of days I have had guys assume that we are the same age or that they are older than me. Now the punch line is they are 32 and 33 years old!I ain't trying to pop my collar because I am truly grateful to have my health~ but one thing I know to be true is everybody can NOT tell the same lie in the exact same way....
###

Tips from the actress I am most compared too (lately!)

Photo Credit: Andrew Macpherson

Wendy Raquel Robinson

39
The star of the CW’s The Game says she wouldn’t trade her 39 years for 25, even if you paid her.

OUTER BEAUTY: “I am celebrating everything that’s beautiful about me. I swear by monthly facials. I take vitamins because my energy level just isn’t the same without them. I also need plenty of sleep.”
INNER BEAUTY: “It’s the self-acceptance that I’ve gathered from age, maturity, even from marriage, that has contributed to my feeling beautiful.”
Beauty Must-Haves
The star spills her secrets, from skin care to exercise.

SKIN CARE: “My regimen starts with Neutrogena Clear Pore Cleanser/Mask (about $7, mass retailers) and DeLord Skin Care Daily Facial Shampoo ($29, delordskincare.com).”

DIET: “I exclude pork and beef as well as fried and greasy foods. I avoid eating heavy after 8 p.m. to prevent unnecessary weight gain.”

FITNESS: “I take dance classes on the weekends and work out about three times a week.”

HAIR: “I make sure to have my ends trimmed regularly and treat my hair to deep conditioners.”

—story by, pamela edwards

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Please share your story:
Wit, wisdom & wisecracks for women over 40…and those planning on living to be.

Tuesday Tenets - Self Love

You are who you choose to be.
Beware the choice and the consequnece!
When you fully understand who you are and what works for you and you consciouly CHOOSE to step out of what you are suppose to be doing to maximize who you are.
Don't cry over the consequences!

Stay focused and make sacrifices to support your soul!
Be encouraged!
M.

This is Beautiful, Regardless who you like for President.

To me this photo is a picture of a strongman who, in the face of a setback, is cherishing a moment with the supportof a strong woman who is 100% behind him. Together they are making history. This is what our families should be like and can be like.

****Makes me want to jump the broom

REPOST & UPDATE!!!

REPOST: Its going down! CHI-TOWN! Category: Travel and Places

I am in the last stages of getting on the underground railroad heading up north. I have been marooned in Georgia working for grits and beans and i finally got my traveling papers approved to get out of the nasty dirty south - GIVE US, US FREE! and when i get free - i am going EXHALE and buy some boots to get ready for winter!

I have resigned from my slave post and the movers are coming next weekend...

My final comment on Savannah Georgia is fuck yau'll slow ass, broke down ragged asses up against the wall like a two dollar whore - i will miss you, not... the only good thing here is the weather.

`The Duchess!

______________________________________________________________

UPDATE!!!!!!!

WELL I SURVIVED DRIVING THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS OF

NORTH CAROLINA & TENNESEEE!

thank YOU for the prayers! I felt them!!!!!

in reflection i think i should hve had a very pleasant experince leaving the plantation, being on the underground railroad and all BUT!!!

seeing that i was driving a 26 foot truck with my car trailing behind - i was a little hyped up.

Now i don't mean like hype the party hype - i mean my life passed before my eyes at least 3times.

1st FLASH!

i remembers the guy i was in love with in '92 and literally felt something for him!!! IF YOUKNEW ME - YOU KNOW THATS SOME BULLSHIT!

2nd FLASH!

I remembered my girls with who I have maintained a freindship with since jr. high school and i one or two that moved away after we had kids and i vowed to connect with them!.

I DID TOO! I HAVE SPOKEN TO TWO OF MY BEST FREINDS THAT I HAD LOST CONTACT WITH!!! BABIES DADDIES CAN BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING!

The 3rd flash was Chi-town!!!

I thought i was on my way back there until the 4th quarter. i got a job offer i could not refuse- God has a better plan for our journey and I am really greatful that i am open to letting Him have his way...

I still don't really know about Savannah - other than writting my first novel and outlineing the next two... i had a lot to complain about when i was there.

THANK GOD!!! I AM MUCH LESS AGGRAVATED AND HOSTILE HERE IN MY NEW SPOT - I AM EVEN CONSIDERING STAYing FOR A LONGGGGGGGGGGGG WHILE!

THAT THOUGH ALONE IS SOBERING TO ME! GIVES ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT AND TO BE GREATFUL FOR!

LAst but not least!!! My kids are HAPPY!!!

TRUST Him!