It was all in my mind...

Soul Sankofa - copyright 2009

2009-09-20T18:59:00.001-07:00

Soul Sankofa
By M. Raye Turner
Can I Get A "what-what" or or a "gon' gurl!"

Here Goes!

Soul Sonkofa

Let’s go back, way back into time

Situation number 9, was more like number 7 & 8

Complete and a new beginning…

Lost time and chance, the power of sweet romance –

Pause, rewind, and remember the time…

Were you ever mine?

Was I really there?

A guest in my own life, watching you love me without consent and conscious

Where is my soul? And what happens if time catches my soul a day late and a dollar short of loves peace.

Before I look back and get all that is good and make a passionate journey into the future unscathed by the past.

Somewhere my ego thought that you’d send for me before union and at least ask for permission as if your soul was tied to mine.

Pause, rewind, you lied to my soul, lips of a future never to unfold.

And still I wish you well secretly hoping your living in hell

Poetic Invitation

2009-08-27T12:15:00.001-07:00

Like Whoa!

I have been invited to read my poetry at the end of the year...

I am real sensitive about my artistry in whatever form I present it. I have only shared my poetry with people that I love and i don't just mean "I love with the the love of the Lord" I mean ones I love to the soul...

Now its time to decide what to share and how much to share maybe i will test the waters on here 1st and see if i can get some feedback. I am not a spoken word fan I like poetry from in the written form...

Praying in Nature...

2009-08-24T09:33:00.001-07:00

Just when I was getting all primed up to write this elaborate dissertation on the profound experience of praying in nature, and being open to God in the mist of his natural creations. Going back to dirt and spirit being breathed into me as I take deep breaths and open my heart mind and soul to the one God who is with me but I can’t or won’t’ hear Abba Father always because of the self inflicted noise and soul pollution in my life…

BAM! Just like that! – I found this quote that said it all. Succinct – just like I crave love, life and words to be, succinct and to the point!

“Nature praises God just by being what God created it to be” ~ St Francis of Assisi

God reveals himself in nature where everything there (here, her, he) has one shared creator without the pyramid concept of mans divine inspiration and his God given intentions. Just wide open heaven and earth, no man made bodies of water and bridges… no genetically modified plants like seedless watermelon (?).

(I just thought these were HOT!!!!! )

It is here that I go to pray for His presence to stay with me, I praise him in the midst of consistent, continually praise from the rocks, birds, insects, and flowers and ask that his wisdom burn my psyche and it is here I get total and divine peace… then I pray for the people that I love, special prayer request for others and all Gods children. It is here I get answers to my prayers, I find clear evidence of His faithfulness everyday and it is in nature that I find the hotline to Father’s ear concerning my loved one.

2009-08-13T08:32:00.001-07:00

Follow this blog

Praying in nature post coming soon! stay tuned...

2009-08-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

okay before you go left or right on sista - please note that I am not religous I am spiritual and I don't owe anybody but God an explantion - so the veiws that I will share in regards to praying in nature are my own and some others who agree wth my perspective (well - somewhat)
I just wanna share my story with you...
Stay tuned -
Muah!

Listening in the Natural Silence

God uses Nature to reveal Himself

"...like a rose that blooms through concrete"
-TuPac - the lil brother i never had (smile)

Time & Chance... Time & Chance!!!

2009-08-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

Hello! I hope you are still listening....

M. Raye Turner, LaTonya Branham (Author of Spirit Seek & Culture Seek [2nd Ed] and Twinkie Pickles

Where do I begin it has been soooo long since I have taken the time to blog and keep in contact with the world. I must admit that I have been sucked into LIFE (x2),Twitter & Facebook...

Lets start with 1st things 1st!
Thanks to everyone who has wished me well and supported me in my 1st novel Pretty Monster. It has been going-going-going!

Recent highlight
Harlem book fest:

Display table G27 in Harlem, New York!

I had never been to New York and I thought being from Chicago and being a globe trekker that hey it a big city so what!

I am going to the hip-hop capital of the world - and I was really pumped about that!

New York in a word is WOW!!!!
I was wowed NY is like Chicago x 10...
It was too much and I will get into that as time goes by...

BUT I UNDERSTAND NOW
WHY GOD NEVER ALLOWED ME TO GO TO
NEW YORK IN MY 20's!!!
OMG! THE SHOPPING IS UN-BELIEVABLE!

My 1st sale - Ms. Phillis Simpson!

Thank you so much for adding EXTRA sunshine to my day!

My New Author Buddies:

Through the Eyes of a Rookie

By Benjamin Mouzone

Mr. Paul Linzy, Author of The Main Main Event

Miss Sheila, Owner of
Sheila's Steps to Elegance -

2285 Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd
New York, NY 10030
212-491-5945

God bless you for looking out for me I will be in touch with you soon! You gave me the impression that their are warm hearted, sweet, genuine people in Harlem and I look forward to talking to you and seeing you soon!!!

Well - until real soon!
It won't be long ....................

Pretty Monster - Take the ride - Purchase now!

2008-10-17T08:16:00.001-07:00

Click the image above to get more information, and to purchase this book

1st Book Signing

2008-10-12T10:46:00.001-07:00

I WILL POST PICTURES VERY SOON!

Thank you for your support, kind words, well wishes, & laughter at my first book signing/event this weekend.

What an experience & blessing this was for me to meet so many beautiful & positive people.

I’ve learned that:
CSU Alumni, Students, Friends and Family are good people and have overwhelmed me with joy!!!
Chicago loves CSU
Connecticut has more than 4 black people in it
Cleveland & Cincinnati roll deep when they travel
Maryland has a lot of love
& Detroit is loyal to the game
Last but not least Dayton represents!

Please keep in touch!
Love,
Raye

twin soul -soul mate

2008-09-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

"During each of our lifetimes, individuals from your close knit family of souls, your soul mates, will more than likely be your parents, sisters, brothers, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, and even your lovers."

>>
The death of my twin soul…
>>
I didn't go home to watch my twin soul die. But that's what happened.
I remember when she told me what I already knew…
She had cancer and that she was glad that I was coming back home…
I had been in funky-ass fucked Georgia for nearly two year and rarely missed a week talking to my twin soul – Aunt Lenn…
>>
To her delight and dismay I moved 5 hours away. Not in the same city but close enough for me to burn up my shell card to go see her nearly every weekend.
I didn't even unpack before I was on the road to be in her arms to let her know that I her loved to life!
>>
I believe the true you begins after life in death – life is the hard part, although death seems to be the insurmountable reality…

>>
We live until we die auntie – every man has to do his own believing and his own dying – she repeated slowly what I had just said to her, contemplating every word…
>>
It blessed me so to see her fight, to live even when the doctors said: if you got any business to tend to don't put it off. If you live beyond 3 months it's in the hands of God and he has the final say…
>>
Live past 3 months she did – feisty, lively, bodacious and always a lady!
Chemo had knocked her on her ass and she rose from the ashes – beautiful as can be and bald!

>>
"TT if you want to wear your hair now that is has grown back – I'll cut mine too…" I said. She smiled and laughed and in the end she said no don't cut your hair for me.
>>
Wednesday August 20th, 2008 – I called to tell her "I'll be there Friday beautiful and I can't wait to see you." The voice that spoke back to me broke my soul apart and I wept silently tring not to let it be heard in my voice…
No matter how sick she was, no matter how much pain - she'd never let me off the phone because she loved me too. "What's Joy doing" she'd say knowing that talking about my big headed kids would spark at least 15 minutes of dialogue from me.
>>
Friday August 22, 2008 – I walked off my job because my spirit pulled me towards my twin soul and I had to go.
I flew home changed clothes and threw some clothes in a bag, on my way to spend the night with her, my shell card coupled in my bra.
>>
My beautiful, beautiful twin soul was dieing before my eyes and I knew it when I saw her… literally oozing cancer from her mouth and unable 2 speak or move her head, body or eyes…

>>
Every now and then her hand would jerk up as if she was asking me to hold it. Sleep as hell watching her like a protective mother her I'd say "I'm hear TT your not alone."

>>
Hours later - I lost my twin soul.

>>
Then with the smell of death and a hospital sick bed drenching me from sitting by her side all night – I went to my guy Chris (the baddest barber in North Chicago) who had flat out refused to cut my hair sitting across the room looking at me like he was about to take a break until a real customer walked in. I grabbed his scissors and whacked off my ponytail as the whole shop ohh'ed and wow'ed at my boldness in dedication of my love to my beautiful soul mate –
RIP in Peace Aunt Lenn

>>
The flesh can take your body – but only God can take your soul!

Soooooooooo Sweet!!!!!!!!

2008-06-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

No Words Needed!!!

Bursting with JUBILATION!!!!!!!!

2008-05-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

"Change is created by those whose imaginations are bigger than their circumstances"
Author - Unknown

Now you have heard and seen the chaos in my blogs - and the reach for peace and blocking all drama!

Well yau'll I feel like poison and toxins have been released from my soul as of lately and it feels so good that if i were any happier I'd split right into a twin!!!

God is...

and Doesn't ever fail!!!

Be encouraged and be conscience of the intention and the words we speak as they are so powerful. When we say we are going to do something, we set energy in motion. When we fail to act or complete our intention, we drain our energy. We lose our power.

We would be wise to choose our words carefully -- to really mean what we say and to honour the commitments we have made. So that we are not responsible for draining the energy of others...

as i continue to work on my own shit - i can at the very least say on a daily bases that i have a clear conscious and followed my spirit/inner voice.

last straw - this is it!

2008-05-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

A powerfully portrayed story told with raw honesty and love...

Experience tears and laughter walking through the life and times of Tangie Waters, a resilient daddy’s girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. This attention-grabbing tale of a young woman’s determination to survive leaves one questioning their own maturity. Despite her monstrous ego, Tangie finds humility through her faith in God and the wisdom of her grandparents as she struggles to be at peace while overcoming constant setbacks, family woes, and the complexities of being a single mother.

Flowing through life with torrent music Pretty Monster is an alluring tale that speaks to young women everywhere; from the inner cities to the tree lined streets of the American suburbs

The synopsis from hell!!!!

2008-05-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

After a 100 revisions - i am tired of this bi^%$!!!!!!!!!!

A powerful portrayed story told with raw honesty and love...

Experience tears and laughter walking through the life and times of Tangie Waters, a resilient daddy’s girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. The attention-grabbing tale of a young lady’s determination to survive that leaves one questioning their own maturity. Despite her monstrous ego, Tangie is guided by faith in God and the wisdom of her grandparents as she struggles to be at peace while faced with constant setbacks, family woes, and the complexities of being a single mother. Flowing through life with torrent music Pretty Monster is an alluring tale that speaks to young women from the inner city to the tree lined streets of the American suburbs.

Dear Mama...

2008-05-04T02:33:00.000-07:00

Grandmothers are the real G's!!!!

a motherless child is far worse than a fatherless one...

to all the Mothers that did what they didn''t have to do!

I sat there for almost an hour and no one came in as I made peace with Mama and God. This was the end. I bent over her face and I remember thinking even now at age 73 and on her death bed, how she looked 45 at the most. She was beautiful to the end. I kissed her face and it was ice cold and rubbery feeling. Something was wrong, oxygen was being pumped into a corpse is what I think, but the machines were on anyhow. I silently prayed and said bye to what was left of Mama whispering in her ear.
“Thank you for loving me so much I promise I’ll try to be good.” “I always knew you were watching and praying for me. Tell God, I know when the Holy Spirit is teaching me and I saw three angels for sure.”
I promptly stood, still glaring at her lifeless, empty eyes turned and walked out into the waiting room. The family was in there loud, talking and laughing like the Bears had won the Super Bowl or something. I stood at the entrance of the doorway?
“Would somebody please take me home?”
They started their manipulation tactics saying why you leaving , don’t go, we all here together for a change and what about Mama.
“I want to go home.”
They kept talking and I was about ready to spark off .
I yelled real loud “I want to go home, would somebody please give me a ride home!”
The way I said it translated into fuck all of you motherfuckers quick and dirty, now take me home. Everybody got silent and just stared at me.
I then said under my breath “Fuck it, I'll catch a cab,” and walked out.
I heard my father speaking as the door was closing.
“Do you mind taking her home?”

Pretty Monster coming June 2008!

Pretty Monster Coming June 2008

2008-05-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

Experience tears and laughter walking through the life and times of Tangie Waters, a resilient daddy’s girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. An attention-grabbing tale of a young black woman’s determination to survive, guided by faith in God, and the wisdom of her grandparents. Despite her monstrous ego she struggles to be at peace, while faced with constant setbacks, family woes, and the complexity of being a single mother. Flowing through life with torrent music Pretty Monster is an alluring tale that speaks to young women from the inner city to the tree lined streets of the American suburbs.

MAn up or Bow down!

2008-05-04T02:02:00.001-07:00

smile - do i really have go into detail on this one?

... HE said that I was the best girlfriend that he had ever had and that he couldn't handle what that meant... Just like that -fuck me, fuck the kids, fuck everything he's gone...

PrEtTy Monster coming June 2008

Rejection is as strong as love

2008-05-04T01:51:00.000-07:00

... and both will get you killed!!!

It's New Year's morning, I had been in church, praising the New Year in up until one a.m. I had slept on the couch for a change and actually got some good sleep. I woke to the phone ringing. When I answered, I heard the words, "Tangie will you marry me?"
It took me a second to catch the voice. I thought to myself damn he's tripping.
"Well, good morning to you too str!..."
But before I could say anything else he went on to say.
"I can't get you out of my mind and my heart even though we haven't seen each other for a long time. I spent the night partying with my friends and I found my every other thought to be about you and wishing we could be together, so I called to ask if you would start the New Year off being mine. Will you marry me?
"I'm pregnant," I said, trying to move the conversation to a new topic.
After a long pause, he responded "But you didn't answer the question."

PrEtTy MoNsTeR - coming June 2008

flip da script - follow up to the previous post

2008-03-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in the situation where a relative (in-law by marriage either common law or just a significant other to your relative) or a friend (close or good aquaintance) tried to step to you for some romance/fu*&^%$...

I have had this happen so many times and it really made mad as hell. Then my later thought was ok getting pass the obvious that he is attracted to me - is there something about me that makes him think that i would be down with being a side peice of ass - and worse a side peice of ass to one of my friends or family members.

my evil twin/monsterous ego has no PROBLEM with taking over in these situation ans i was hell to dem niggas - read on for the rhythm and fire, bitch nigga role call!

my list - please note that every response was from a different person...

spoken like the true undercover thug I is!!!

--- called him every mutherf*&^%$ combination in da book

--- slapped the shit out of him

--- spit on him

--- walked away with my mouth hanging wide open

--- went and sat in my fiances lap

--- told the guy i was dating (because he noticed my mood had changed i.e., he asked)

--- cussed his ass out

--- didn't respond and stopped going to hang with my girl until she dumped his ass

--- told somebody who told everybody!!!

--- threaten to kill his ass

what did you do you (or would you do) when your friend or relative significant other tried to get with you...

If you went jerry springer of maury - no judgement here

what happens onthe blog stays on the blog (yea right - lol)

Damn why and how do you know so damn much about it?!

2008-03-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

Mind Yo’Buisness!

He cheatin, she cheatin they break up and it goes around and around again. They get back together. She tell and he tells his friends if you see anything, let me know.
Whats the deal with so many broken relationship and people cheating left and right???
This is no new thing.. The game don’t change just the players – what is this all about. I have never understood!

Now if you happen to watch show like “Maury” or as I like to call it “Who’s That Babies Daddy?”

You’ll stay perplexed on the issue.

I just don’t get it… Help me understand?

Is it a sex thing?
Is it I want out of the relationship thang?
Is it I just can’t myself thang?
Or do you secretly CRAVE DRAMA and the possibility of a STD???

My personal take on it – comes from my Mama, God bless her soul who warned me to mind my own business. Strange things happen between a man and a woman and its best to keep it to your self. The person you tell will FIND a WAY to resent you eventually some way and some how!!!
How crazy and I have seen it to be true – time and time again

Bottom line question?!

Would you really want somebody to tell you what you already know by fact or by instinct?

Heres a survey for you family:

Would you tell if you saw a female relative’s beau with another woman?

Would you tell if you saw a good friend’s beau with another woman/man?

Would you tell if you saw your dad or uncle with another woman?

Must See Movies!!!!

2008-03-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

Some folks believe what you don’t know won’t hurt you. But when it comes to creeping and living a secret life, director/actor Bill Duke challenges such wayward thinking. His controversial thriller, Cover, examines the “down-low” or “D.L” phenomenon and how it affects the Black community through the lives of one young Black family. When southern belle and commercial photographer Valerie Maas (Aunjanue Ellis) agrees to uproot her family and lucrative career by relocating from Atlanta to Philly to support her psychiatrist-hubby Dutch’s (Rad Adoti) new promotion, things fall apart as her growing suspicion of Dutch’s infidelity comes to light. However, it’s the magnitude of those lies and deceit that challenge the sanctity of her marriage, faith and hope, making her doubt everything she’s ever known to be true—including her husband’s devotion.

Robert Townsend Gives Back to Chicago In Film
Latest Film Brings Chicago Native Back Home To Show Kids Possibilities

A family patriarch is bereaved of his wife on a tragic car accident. As he tries to pull his family together with the help of his sister, a hustler tempts his son and three other neighborhood boys into a shady lifestyle. The boys must learn to grow into manhood by choosing the right paths in their lives.

What are you thinking?

2008-03-12T07:41:00.001-07:00

What have you been thinking lately?

Do you know? We get so accustomed to our thoughts that we lose awareness of them. We don’t see how they are stuck in old habitual patterns, most of which don’t serve us.

Take time to journal so you can capture your thoughts on paper. By doing so, you will begin to take control of your mind and use it to best advantage.

Black History Month!

2008-02-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

I finally got around to posting for BHM!
I have been busieer than the devil these days - translation we eat'in groceries PRAISE GOD!!!

A PLEA TO THE TALENTED TENTH

Harvard University recently concluded a five-year study that found that race is deeply embedded in our cultural landscape and most Americans are in a state of denial. The 50 researchers concluded, "Race continues to play a powerful role in the chances for success in America and black Americans continue to lose jobs to recent immigrants." Andrew Hacker, a white college professor says, "The fact that slavery existed for so long and was so taken for granted cannot be erased from American minds." And says Hacker, "that is why white people, although they won't openly admit it, find it not improper that blacks still serve as maids and janitors, occupations seen as involving physical skills rather than mental aptitudes."Psychologist

Na'im Akbar says black Americans are also in a state of denial about the lingering effects of slavery on our thinking. Akbar and Hacker agree that the American psyche remains traumatized by slavery and is in need of mental healing (psychotherapy). And Dr. Akbar says in psychotherapy, "a confrontation of the original trauma and a restructuring of the mind's faulty adaptations to the assault can serve to correct these disturbed patterns of responding." Under this view, if we are to eliminate the "ghost of the plantation" from our cultural landscape, there must be honest and continuous dialogue within as well as between the races.

What about the "Talented Tenth"? W.E.B. Dubois envisioned that the 10% of Black Americans who acquired the skills and/or education that enabled us to succeed in the larger society would eventually "come home" and use our tools and talents to build a bridge between the Black "haves" and the Black "have-nots." Unfortunately many of the "talented tenth" (and I speak from personal experience) used our tools and talents to build personal bridges between the so-called races and then used these bridges as private access roads from the ghetto to the suburbs. In the process, of course, we left our less fortunate sisters and brothers behind.

Hebrew scholar Ben Ammi, writes in his book, God the Black Man and Truth, "Education today is based upon class, aimed at attaining power and fulfilling materialistic desires rather than providing a service to our fellow man." I remember how my college classmates and I laughed at the African brothers who said they were going to get an education and then go back home to help their people. In retrospect I now know, an immigrant wants to help his people while a slave wants to help himself. Many of us are now confessing we made a bad deal. We voluntarily sacrificed our spiritual health for the pursuit of material wealth. We now remember that when we had less, we shared more. And we also remember when a "good home" meant something more than a "well-built house" in the suburbs.As we enter the 21st century, we must accept the responsibility for our own destiny as a people. Perhaps racial profiling and the attacks on affirmative action are blessings in disguise.

As Professor Hacker so diplomatically reminds us, "America is inherently a 'white' country: in character, in structure, in culture." And in America's version of apartheid writes Hacker, "white Americans show little inclination toward giving full nationality to the descendants of African slaves." We must therefore struggle to understand the words of the late scholar/researcher Chancellor Williams when he said, "Now it is just here within the race where integration is not only needed but it is mandatory."And most of all, we must rededicate ourselves to God. In her appropriately named book, Volunteer Slavery, Sister Jill Nelson uses the term "spiritual materialism" to describe our misguided, dollar driven approach to God. "Spiritual materialism" has infiltrated all religions, however, since we are predominantly a Christian people, I'll define it as talking about Jesus when we really want to live like Caesar. Can the true spirit of Christ dwell in such an atmosphere? We're sending mixed messages to our children and then wondering why they are in such a state of confusion.

One sure way of praising and honoring our Creator is by using our unique qualities and abilities to better the human condition. GOD IS, LET'S GET BUSY!!

By Langston X. Thomas (Baba Adubiifa)

Victim or Victorious?

2008-02-18T10:28:00.000-08:00

The say adversity and challenges happen to make you stronger...
I have had so much thrown at me that it makes me want to hollar!!!
Hey if challenges build charater I am on my way to being a cartoon sketch...
But, I know my position! Never a victim always a winner!
So I am sending this words to you in case you are human and keep getting bullshit thrown into your winners circle...

Stay encouraged family!

"A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he says someone pushed him."
-- Elmer G. Letterman

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."
-- Steven Biko

Invisible roses smell sweet too!

2008-02-12T11:29:00.000-08:00

Happy valentines day to me - and many more - roflmao!!!!!!!!!

Being single don't bother me -

I have peace - although I may need to be greased!

But i can wait for the perfect moment in time where he is ALL mine...

I's a selfish lovin-woman and sharing will get cho' azz cut!

anyhoo - Happy valentines day mr. turner - where ever you are - lol

(Don't let these jokes get u trippin! - smile)

THINK BEFORE YOU LOVE!

Tuesday Tenets - To your ownself be true!!!!

2008-02-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

My earnest prayer for years was that i be blessd with tears of joy. I had seen people on TV do it and I of course had been happy as all get out before and leaped with jubilation. But I had never been so happy that i literally wept - and i felt like that was an emotion that i deserved to experience.

I am pleased to say that I was blessed with many opportuites to do so - and if i sat my ass down long enough to count my blessing everyday - i am sure i do it more often.... well daily!

Now what blew my mind was an empowerment email I saw that spoke about the body being a temple and flowing like the ocean when you seek to put yourself in harmony or at least understanding who you are and how much power you harness...

then came the question - have you ever noticed the taste of your tears?

now i know exactly what sad tears taste like - with and without snot!!!!!!!

my next quest is to notice the taste of happy tears!

Questions:

Have you ever noticed that tears of sorrow taste different than tears of joy?

Negro Issues!!!!

2008-02-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

As you may or MAY NOT know - I have been blessed with a book deal working with the lovely Diane of Firefly Publishing & Entertainement.

I am a real stickler when it comes to buiness and i have a real low threashold for unprofessional, late, last minute, poorly communicated negro buisness...

Like Chris Rock Said everythig whites hate about niggas - blacks hate about niggas too.........

Now I have a so called creative team!!!! (please note this team has no relationship or buisness dealing with Ms. Diane)

I threw my RFP out there for them to bring me back a tight cover for the book. I gave them clear guidleines about what I wanted for example:

Abstract:
Pretty Monster is the turbulent story of Tangy Raye Waters a resilience young girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and her struggle to be at peace despite the trouble of family woes and her monstrous ego. Many life lessons learned from her grandparents and time led to her faith in God and the music never stopped.

Now with that said - not trying to give the entire package up just yet -

this is what he sent me!

Is this an Emu?

Is this a vampire?

I am offended, that he would suggest something so tacky and unclassy for the cover of my book!
I told him he has today and today only to impress me - or i'll have my 9 years do it and i am sure it will be fabulous!!!!!

I have know dude since 94 and i think the real issue is not being heard!!!! I started this project in 2006 and if you don't know what its about now - you shouldn't be on the team.

he was all affected inthe begining when I told him I would not do work with him without a contract - now this is WHY!!!!!
Negros!!!!!!!!!!

When my publisher gives the green light i will share some excerts of pretty monster...

Wild Card Wednesdays

2008-02-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Black Don't Crack...

I had a whole nuther blog planned for to day but the most fabulous things happened again...I am single and over 30 and I get younger guys hollering at the vet often. I have gotten use it and find it to be funny.But the older I get and shifting professional circles I get comments like:
"This is your son? or your brother?"
"You said your son is 18. Do you mean months?"
"I can tell your older by your conversation, what are you like 30?" (not sure if this was a complement or an insult!)

In the last couple of days I have had guys assume that we are the same age or that they are older than me. Now the punch line is they are 32 and 33 years old!I ain't trying to pop my collar because I am truly grateful to have my health~ but one thing I know to be true is everybody can NOT tell the same lie in the exact same way....
###

Tips from the actress I am most compared too (lately!)

Photo Credit: Andrew Macpherson

Wendy Raquel Robinson

39
The star of the CW’s The Game says she wouldn’t trade her 39 years for 25, even if you paid her.

OUTER BEAUTY: “I am celebrating everything that’s beautiful about me. I swear by monthly facials. I take vitamins because my energy level just isn’t the same without them. I also need plenty of sleep.”
INNER BEAUTY: “It’s the self-acceptance that I’ve gathered from age, maturity, even from marriage, that has contributed to my feeling beautiful.”
Beauty Must-Haves
The star spills her secrets, from skin care to exercise.

SKIN CARE: “My regimen starts with Neutrogena Clear Pore Cleanser/Mask (about $7, mass retailers) and DeLord Skin Care Daily Facial Shampoo ($29, delordskincare.com).”

DIET: “I exclude pork and beef as well as fried and greasy foods. I avoid eating heavy after 8 p.m. to prevent unnecessary weight gain.”

FITNESS: “I take dance classes on the weekends and work out about three times a week.”

HAIR: “I make sure to have my ends trimmed regularly and treat my hair to deep conditioners.”

—story by, pamela edwards

###
Please share your story:
Wit, wisdom & wisecracks for women over 40…and those planning on living to be.

Tuesday Tenets - Self Love

2008-02-05T07:26:00.001-08:00

You are who you choose to be.
Beware the choice and the consequnece!
When you fully understand who you are and what works for you and you consciouly CHOOSE to step out of what you are suppose to be doing to maximize who you are.
Don't cry over the consequences!

Stay focused and make sacrifices to support your soul!
Be encouraged!
M.

This is Beautiful, Regardless who you like for President.

2008-01-24T08:55:00.000-08:00

To me this photo is a picture of a strongman who, in the face of a setback, is cherishing a moment with the supportof a strong woman who is 100% behind him. Together they are making history. This is what our families should be like and can be like.

****Makes me want to jump the broom

REPOST & UPDATE!!!

2008-01-16T12:32:00.000-08:00

REPOST: Its going down! CHI-TOWN! Category: Travel and Places

I am in the last stages of getting on the underground railroad heading up north. I have been marooned in Georgia working for grits and beans and i finally got my traveling papers approved to get out of the nasty dirty south - GIVE US, US FREE! and when i get free - i am going EXHALE and buy some boots to get ready for winter!

I have resigned from my slave post and the movers are coming next weekend...

My final comment on Savannah Georgia is fuck yau'll slow ass, broke down ragged asses up against the wall like a two dollar whore - i will miss you, not... the only good thing here is the weather.

`The Duchess!

______________________________________________________________

UPDATE!!!!!!!

WELL I SURVIVED DRIVING THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS OF

NORTH CAROLINA & TENNESEEE!

thank YOU for the prayers! I felt them!!!!!

in reflection i think i should hve had a very pleasant experince leaving the plantation, being on the underground railroad and all BUT!!!

seeing that i was driving a 26 foot truck with my car trailing behind - i was a little hyped up.

Now i don't mean like hype the party hype - i mean my life passed before my eyes at least 3times.

1st FLASH!

i remembers the guy i was in love with in '92 and literally felt something for him!!! IF YOUKNEW ME - YOU KNOW THATS SOME BULLSHIT!

2nd FLASH!

I remembered my girls with who I have maintained a freindship with since jr. high school and i one or two that moved away after we had kids and i vowed to connect with them!.

I DID TOO! I HAVE SPOKEN TO TWO OF MY BEST FREINDS THAT I HAD LOST CONTACT WITH!!! BABIES DADDIES CAN BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING!

The 3rd flash was Chi-town!!!

I thought i was on my way back there until the 4th quarter. i got a job offer i could not refuse- God has a better plan for our journey and I am really greatful that i am open to letting Him have his way...

I still don't really know about Savannah - other than writting my first novel and outlineing the next two... i had a lot to complain about when i was there.

THANK GOD!!! I AM MUCH LESS AGGRAVATED AND HOSTILE HERE IN MY NEW SPOT - I AM EVEN CONSIDERING STAYing FOR A LONGGGGGGGGGGGG WHILE!

THAT THOUGH ALONE IS SOBERING TO ME! GIVES ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT AND TO BE GREATFUL FOR!

LAst but not least!!! My kids are HAPPY!!!

TRUST Him!

Go Baby!

2007-12-23T15:49:00.000-08:00

MY ONLY BELOVED SON GRADUATED FROM MILLITARY SCHOOL

AND IS OFF TO COLLEGE!

Picture Me Rollin'

2007-12-19T06:23:00.000-08:00

The count down has begun – in 7 days I will be taking the ride of my life…
I will be driving a 26 foot Penske truck from Savannah GA to Chicago, IL…
I didn’t really realize until now that this is going to be real adventure for me. I have driven moving trucks before however the drive never exceeded 50 miles. I really don’t know what to expect from the road or myself on this journey – I am sure I will have a fabulous tale to share afterwards!!!

When I moved to Savannah, I had a moving company take care of everything and they broke & lost every damn thing. So reverted back to "no one can do it better than me" – hell if I brake it, its okay because I bought it!

Say a prayer for a sista!!!

What seems to be crazy may be faith university

2007-12-13T06:32:00.000-08:00

Zora Neal Hurston once said;

"there are years that ask questions and years that answer"

I have been in Savannah, GA for more than year – I came here site unseen stepping out on faith and believing that there was calling for me here.

I gave up my home, my high profile career, political clout, friends and family. Only to discover – Savannah SUCKS

I took strides to find the right and good in it and at every corner I met bullshit – I cant say it any other way. I started complaining and asking GOD WHY!!! He would lead me to such a dead and dry valley and how does this tie into my purpose.

EVEN THOUGH I COMPLAINED ALL THE DAY LONG AND SLEEPLESS NIGHTS I WAS BLESSED AND MY CHILDREN WERE BLESSED – BUT I WANTED OUT OF THE VALLEY! (I HAD MANNA FROM HEAVEN BUT WANTED MEAT – UNGRATEFUL ASS!)

As my prayer life grew stronger each day coping with a state that could easily be on another planet as things were so strange and impoverished. I made up my mind to leave… I refuse to bring the New Year in with my feets planted in Georgia!

I have a job offer in Chicago and an interview in Ohio on Monday! I am hoping for the Ohio gig believe it or not. I love and miss Chicago – but I’ll be close enough to visit and enjoy the things I miss most without actually living there!

I said all this to say faith is a journey that does not REQUIRE A SAFTY NET – GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT -

Do you know what you really, really, really want?
And if you got it would you be satisfied?!

December

2007-12-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

The beginning of the end… always finds me in a contemplative state of mind. I am not one for New Year’s resolutions. However reflections should give birth to a new beginning. I want to give some love to the soldiers that have gone on in sweet December who in some way motivate me literally everyday to do better, love harder and to make motherhood a crown.

****************************************
December 7, 2001 –
Janai Mitchell age 10 – my cousin, my baby, my angel
Before I met you I was afraid of people that wore their infirmities. Although I had compassion and Godly love for them I didn’t understand that they may like barbeque and got aggravated by their siblings or little cousins. And that they could show love (with no pity) and knew when people were just no good!

Cerebral palsy!
Cerebral palsy (CP) is an umbrella term encompassing a group of non-progressive,[1] non-contagious diseases that cause physical disability in human development.
Cerebral refers to the affected area of the brain, the cerebrum (however the centers have not been perfectly localised and the disease most likely involves connections between the cortex and other parts of the brain such as the cerebellum) and palsy refers to disorder of movement. CP is caused by damage to the motor control centers of the young developing brain and can occur after birth...

But the doctor that escorted you into this condition is fine and his kids are healthy! Baby he didn’t mean to make you this way – I guess he helped you teach all that know you to love deeper, grown and learn… Heaven is glad to have you back home!

***********************************************

December 10, 2005
Richard Pryor age 65 – wow! And whoa!
When I wasn’t looking for you, you were all over the scene 8 tracks, albums, television, movies and touring. Telling stories that made me laugh until I just was slobbing and my back and stomach was cramping. I got you because I knew exactly who you were talking about…

When I started looking for you in some of the lowest days of my life, I found your pain and it wasn’t funny… you were not funny – you were in pain and I wondered about the rainbow and the promise that money would make life better – you proved that this is bullshit and I thank you for that!

Toast to when you could laugh, smile, and impersonate our unsung clown-soldiers who rocked the corner liquor stores, juke joints and sometimes our living rooms! And your favorite pass time SEX… I, like Rain admired you just because you were you and love doesn’t have to be deserved!

I think I know how Eddie feels!

****************************************************************************

Speaking of clown!
Last but not least to my uncle!
December -2005
Cleburn Lee Washington age 60 sumthin, I am not sure…
Your physical death was gratefully over shadowed by the death the icon Richard Pryor and the fact that I had buried yo ass a longtime ago. Thank you for making my life a living hell, for torturing me verbally and physically, for the disdain you had for my daddy and for raping our mother to say the least.

Why thank you! You gave me the greatest gift of all believe it or not! The more pain you brought to the table the more I pressed and the deeper I loved myself from the very beginning even as a child! God is so awesome. I knew I was special and I had a light you just couldn’t fucking stand. It even blinded you when i was sleeping. Many have envied that light, but especially you. It made you try to kill the one in you with alcohol and crack cocaine.

Is mental illness a complement or a fact?
I won’t be shocked if I get to heaven and see your spirit… only God can judge you and His mercy is for all!

The daughter you couldn’t love is having her first child in 2008 - I am grateful that he or she got to meet you in heaven and not on earth…
I am sure you are PEACEFUL – for now…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HOW DID I FORGET THE LEDGEND!!!!

JAMES BROWN - 1933 TO 2006

YOU INSPIRED DADDY TO DANCE AND HE INSPIRED ME!

I STEPPED OUT OF MY HOTEL ROOM THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS AT THE NICKELODEON HOTEL, LOOKED DOWN AT THE NEWSPAPER AT MY DOOR AND SAW THAT THE GODFATHER OF SOUL HAD PASSED...

TURNED A PERFECT HOLIDAY SOUR!

Wake up got-damnit!!!!

2007-11-26T07:23:00.000-08:00

_________________total lack of sleep may or may not be a good thing!______________

Getting on my way to the gig this morning, I realized that I was dress to dayam fly for my current place of employment. I try not to waste myself on this beat up ragged ass town in no shape form or fashion - ya dig. SO I peeled off my threads and put on the basic money gear for what is suppose to be an office enviroment and took my sweet ass time getting out the door.

Combed my babies hair made her breakfast and even took a moment to tickle her and tell her jokes about her profound genius which i discoved long before she could talk.
I got strong genes yau'll (lol).

But I digressed!

Dropped my baby off at the bus stop, gave her lunch money and a big kiss goodbye...
So I am tired as hell, its monday, still hung over from turkey and sh^%! SO while in traffic I attempt to think about my life and try to remember some thing to keep me focused for the second, minute, hour day and week! We forget way to easy the things that should be PRIORITY - right, right - SO dig it!
I remembered something my girl Teah said to me the other day.
She said "Boogie, "
I said "What?"
she said "Boogie"
I said YEYah...

GOD DID NOT CREATE

STRESS, FEAR OR WORRY

baM just like that -

I woke the F*&$ UP!

- don't you miss the wake up call!

Now after I got to work and did the freindly - hey, great, fine, all right and ciao!
I thought about love and I think Al did or at least should have had this sentiment in mind when he wrote this song! Love doesn't create STRESS, FEAR or WORRY!

Bam!

If I gave you my love,

I tell you what I'd do

I'd expect a whole lotta love outta you

You gotta be good to me

I'm gonna be good to you

There's a whole lotta things you and I

Could do

Hey hey

Hey hey hey

Simply beautiful simply beautiful simply

Beautiful

Simply beautiful simply beautiful simply

Beauti..

Simply beautiful

What about the way you love me

And the way you squeeze me

Hey

Hey simply beautiful hey

And you get right down it

And the love is getting you through it

Simply beautiful [Repeat to end]

(less not forget the baby, baby, etc.)

60 minutes! On point!!!!

2007-11-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

I have been ahead of the curve by 20 years... Thank GOD for wisdom!
Sh**! What am I going to do at 40?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * ** **60 Minutes * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * *
In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40: 60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.

Here are just a few reasons why:A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be

unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Getting it off your chest...

2007-11-14T08:32:00.000-08:00

I have thrown my author hat into the arena of many great writers. I have just completed my first novel Pretty Monster. It is in the process of being published for 1st quarter 2008. I guess I should be excited but I am more blah than anything else. I didn’t want to write this first novel, I had to write it…

Abstract
Pretty Monster is the turbulent story of Tangy Raye Waters a resilience young girl who grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and her struggle to be at peace despite the trouble of family woes and her monstrous ego. Many life lessons learned from her grandparents and time led to her faith in God and the music never stopped.

It is a southern-urban expose of time and the plight of a young lady who struggles against the odds. A few readers that were privy to the really rough drafts stated that it reminded them of Biggie and PAC in regard to telling a story in a way that you can definitely feel and see the pain, struggle and joy. Others said it would be a wonderful film and compared it to Lakawana Blues (which I didn’t see until I was finished with it).

I am humbled by all the feedback I have received. I am trusting the world with a peace of me with and I look forward to whatever comes next. I have started my next novel which is a dirty tale – laughing out loud, I am going to enjoy writing the next two books…

REPOST: I dont mean to be rude, but KISS my crA%$

2007-07-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

This is a shot out to everybody that called, texted, emailed or IM'ed me to wish me a Happy Fathers Day. I feel as if you really dont know me which is why I have written my own obituary. I have not celebrated fathers day since my grandfather (daddy died in 1983)...
Nor do I appreciate people saying this to me for the following reasons.

1 - I am not a f***** man
2 - i do not fill the male role in my household, realtionship with my children or any other way
3 - I ain't never gonna be that pro woman that I can take a man place on anything
4 - I understand your point but it is stupid to me and unholy!
5 - Men dont give birth to children, do I look Masculine? Be honest, it will allow me go to the spa and work it out...
Again I say this is the stupiest shit ever and I know I have cussed serveral people out about this over the years and rebuked them for trying to speak a curse into my life. I guess the forgot, well here it is in writting...

11:19 AM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos -
JusBKellz http://www.myspace.com/jusbkellzDate:
Jun 18, 2007 11:09 AM Subject: "Daddy's Little Girls" Body: Big props to Tyler for the positive image of what a down-to-earth, cool ass, hustling his ass off real Black Man is!
Tiffani
my deepest apologies.. REALLY didn't mean anything by that or towards your life. Was trippin, just like when you say don't give kudos to Santa because you work to take care of your kids. I love you and again i am sorry and pardon my ignorance on this subject. Call me ~the Diva
Posted by Tiffani on Monday, June 18, 2007 at 5:06 PM
Mahogany
silence china! you know i have been on a roll since friday night or was it thursday - hell call the riunite company and complain - lolspeaking of fathers... mom said this fathers day was one for the history books. i'd love to hear your version...smooches!ps: tell your family if they keep trippin they are uninvited to my funeral - it's gonna be a stone cold blast!!! (that's don corneilus code for da bomb, oops i mean off the chain, or off the hook, or whatever the kids are saying now-a-day!)peace!

Love To Smile: The Queen B
No, you don't take the place of a man. However, if men would truly be MEN and do what they are supposed to this controversy wouldn't have even presented itself in the first place.I *may* have included you in my text blast (all my days run together I can't remember). However, I mentioned that it was a greeting to all the "True Daddies" ... meaning those who do for their children, men or women. I agree with you that no woman could ever take the place of the male role as a father figure. Unfortunately, on account of those who aren't MEN certain gaps must be filled....this coming from one who played the Single Mommy role for a long enough portion of my life and hung it up for good. My experience was not that of all Mothers. I can proudly say that due to the shitty ass parents that the kid I was raising had at the time... I DID play the role of Mommy AND Daddy... and proudly take both titles for that time in my life... I'm just sayin'....I didn't mean any offense by it... simply a pat on the back if you will, a holding you high on a pedestal because you ARE doing a damn big thing. You're a Super Woman to me.... shall I list all of the accomplishments in addition to "Supah Mama"? : )I'm making a mental note of the blog though... won't do it again if I did it in error....
Posted by Love To Smile: The Queen B on Monday, June 18, 2007 at 11:35 PM
Mahogany
hey lorena - you did not send me a text this year and thank you... you can never fill the place of a man and I mean NEVER... you are right that if men were doing what they should it would not be an issue. but it is what it is... a man cannot be a mother even if he is a single father... i have friends in this situation and the pain is eveident in their children (a motherless child is worst than a fatherless one - in my opinion and experiecne). a woman can not be a father to her children she can be there and thats it - it is NEVER going to be the same thing and the childen for than MISSSING PART...I am not a super mother playing mommy and daddy - i am a tired ass women doing the best i can and praying that the scars on my children from NOT HAVING A FATHER OR MALE ROLE MODEL wont permanantly fuck there lives up. I see the damage everyday.I had a mom and a dad gowing up - each had different roles - one preson CANNOT FILL BOTH ROLES - PERIOD! It is a bibical curse and unGodly...i am not doing a big thing - i just stayed instead of leaving them too.i dont deserve a pedastal for doing what i am supose to do...being a parent is a thankless job - until its over!!!
Posted by Mahogany on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 at 10:16 AM
JusBKellz
Peace, Love, Unity and God (PLUG)I pray for restoration in your life today. You are and have been since I have known you been doing the damn thang! My apologies you are absolutely right!One

REPOST: How do you get OFF!

2007-05-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

Oooooohhhh last night i was so restless. I went to bed twice once at 6:30 to no avail and again at 8:30. By 10:30 I jumped up put on some jeans and a tank top snatch a few $ and my keys. I was going to get off!!! I was to restless to rest so I had to get me sumthin to take the edge off!
I grabbed a beer, went threw my Cd's grabbed the one thing that help me "rise above it all or i would drown in my own shit!!!"

I rode thru the streets of Chicago looking at the breath taking skyline on a 80 degree night, listening to Maggott Brain (michael hampton/funkadelic/george clinton) blaring louder than the law allows!!!!!!! and i got off! (smile - I know what u were thinking - freakin - LOL!!!)
-------------
LET'S KEEP IT GOING!
How do u get off!

A Broken Heart Leaks Issues!!!

2007-04-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

Its not what you go thru - its how you go throught it!
If you pray against circumstances you'll be frustrated!
Satan is coming after your heart and it will be the best of times and the worst of times at the same time!

Watch the set up - lol!!!
A broken heart is calling for God!

Broken Records

2007-04-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

IT TAKES A FOOL TO LEARN DAT LOVE DON'T LOVE NO ONE!

LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER LOVE TKO...

I TOLD MY FRIEND MAYBE YOU NEVER BEEN IN LOVE LIKE I BEEN IN LOVE...

TOAST TO THE OTHER MAN AND THE BETTER PLANS...

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!

FOR ALL THE LOVERS OUT THERE KEEP YO BREAK UP RECORDS ON STAND BY!
I PRAY YAU'LL CAN REBOUND AND BE UNBREAKABLE!!!
FO REAL!

shocking email from a real man!

2007-04-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

Lord God hear my prayer. Give me your strength to be honorable and just Let me Walk the path of the Warrior defender of the righteous. Let me over come my fears, both personal, professional, and spiritual. Stand with me as I try to overcome the desire to show the strength of my fist, when I should show the strength of my will. Help me overcome the pitfalls in life and the desire to give up on my search for the love that seems to have abandoned this world. Help me to not fall victim to the callous attitudes my brothers have towards love, and the bond between a man and a woman. Show me Lord how to be true to the woman that you will someday bless me with. To always remember that love is a blessing that should not be taken for granted or abused. As I walk this earth alone help me to keep the faith in the belief that one day you will bring into my life that woman who will be my love, and my life .Help me oh Lord to never put my woman, second to anything or anyone other than you. Help me to see that there are more things in life than the desires of the flesh. Help me to be strong when the search for you blessing sometimes leads to heartache. Lord help me to remember that there is joy in companionship, and the pleasure of understanding that only comes from the bonds of finding a person that completes you body mind and soul.
These things I ask of you of Lord.
Amen

Now i am sure he is going to act crazy in the long run - but at least he trying - God bless him! He said this is one of his daily prayers...

He gon' be alright

Teddy P and Marvin Gaye

2007-04-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

u know that i just love music and movies! my whole life pretty much revolves around a song. I am so fired up - the rights to the marvin gaye story have finally been sold!!! The same cat that did trading places (the 80's eddie murphy movie - a fellow negro) owns the rights and is putting on the production. They are in the process of developing the script, etc.etc.etc...

The script for the teddy p story (which is not a tell all book about his life) is done and moving on. It is a reflection of his life and struggles and handling/maintaining the up and downs. they are having a big event for him in june in his home town philidelphia. i read his book "truly blessed" a while ago and it was really interesting...now i have to go there for a minute, one it is no one buisness and is glossed over inthe book about the allegeded blow job that caused his auto mobile accidents back in the day. in my opinoin it really to bad that a lil head brought such devastation. it changed my life - LOL - AND THE LESSON IS DONT LET PASSENGERS GET DOWN LIKE DAT WHILE DRIVING AND I HAVE A MUCH SMALLER CAR NOW-A-DAYS - LOL now that could be the problem cars use to be the size of king size beds on the inside back inthe day - he strecthed out and got to comfortable, cruise control and.......... anyway!

Then of course the James Brown movie is pending it will be done before he is buried properly.
i absolutly love these icons and cant wait to see thier movies (hoping they are done well!) THEY ALL BETTER BE GOOD!!!

robert townsend is in chicago - working a movie, if my asss had stayed in cold and snowy chicago, i would be working with him again...(dammit, i deleted the email withthe name of it) but its okay everything happens for a reason...AND SEGWAY!

my book is almost finished and i am almost feeling good about the whole experince. i'd love to GIVE everyone a copy but uh, that would kinda defeat the purpose! i really hope somebody enjoys it and learns something about their own soul in reading the story of ms tangy the psycho-baby!

2008 is going to be a big year for black movies and hopefully for me!

Daddy's Girl

2007-04-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

Hey yau'll more on the topic from the previous blog...
I got my thoughts together - lol
Old boys vs men is better language:
old boys - suffer from a lot mainly, arrested development and/or poor or no male influnence. so they will likely tell you that they are a man beciase there are trying or failing in ACTING like a man. Now don't get it twisted this has nothing to be with being gay - a lot of gay men are more manly that those that are ACTING like men. ANd those that are ACTING like men are not always gay....
Next we have men - they don't have find it nessesary to tell you that they are a man. they do the man thing which has nothing to do with being macho or thuggish believe it or not!!! a man is committed to his word and has found a deeper love and level of manhood inside him that he is willing to die for.

[ Now i am not male bashing - so dont come at me like that - because this also is the script for many women (right, right)
Now back to my point...]

i am fortunate to have had a man that was not my biological father come into my life at 3mths old and raise me and i was "his gurl" - and i am still spoil but not rotten as i use to be - lol
his qualities included but were not limited to:
1. going to work FAITHFULLY

2. Came home FATHFULLY with his whole check

3. HAd his own interest and friends that NEVER COMPRIMISED his relationship with his wife and me his daughter.

4. He said what he meant and meant what he said - everytime he open his mouth. HE KEPT HIS WORD IN SHORT ORDER AND LONG TERM (His word meant something - you could count on and depend on his word ALWAYS!) Now he joked and played and had a blast with us - we were always doing something, but when he said things and did things that affected our family he was taken seriously by everyone - the first time he said it.

5. Nothing was to good for his gurls, he would move heaven and hell to keep his word to us and make sure we had things that made us comfortable. His presence made us feel safe at all times.

Now i dont remember ever saying i love you or hearing him say it to me - but he showed it everyday in so many ways.and i hope i did the same - even tho he has been dead for a long time it is well in my soul because i know my daddy loved me!
now i am old school and i remember when people use to say old boy and old girl. I am going to bring that back into my vocabulary. so please recognize when i call someone old boy or old girl - it is not a complement but an acknowlegdement of thier pain and their need to grow into a deeper human being.

i look forward to hearing your thoughts on this one!

Hollar